On this episode of 4 Things With Amy Brown, Amy Brown is focusing on the positive. She already practices gratitude by writing four things each day she’s grateful for, even if they’re tiny things, which is often recommended by experts on mental health and wellness; but she admits that the practice can be hard to keep up with. On bad days, it’s tough to pinpoint what we’re grateful for – but noticing the good stuff, the positive stuff, is one of the best things we can do for our brains. She starts off by committing to an “accountability partner,” her friend Chase, who will make sure she stays motivated to continue her gratitude practice or anything else she wants to do. Then her friend Brittney Spencer shares a conversation with her grandmother about learning who you are late in life, Morgan Number 2 from the Bobby Bones Show talks about getting through the pandemic as a young, single woman living alone, and her friend Lisa tells us how we can disrupt negative thought patterns to help manage anxiety.
Another thing recommended by health and wellness experts is to make sure you give back. Being generous and taking care of others is very healthy, but it can be bad for you if you do it too much, as Brittney’s grandmother discovered; she tells us that she was the oldest of seven kids, and did all the cooking and cleaning growing up until she had her own kids, so she was always in a caretaker role. When her kids were grown up, she was excited to have the house to herself and cook whatever food she liked. But when she got to the grocery store, she realized “I didn’t know what I liked….I had given all of me away.” She had to get back in touch with who she was, and she got a lot of joy out of trying new things and learning about herself; but she never really stopped giving back. Every Thanksgiving for 44 years now, she’s handed out plates of food to homeless people, complete with napkins and cutlery and something to drink. “You make plates for people less fortunate just like you made plates for me,” Brittney says. “You show up for people.” True joy isn’t to keep – it’s to share.
It can be tough to think about others when you’re stuck in negative thought patterns, though, and Amy’s friend Lisa tells us some tips to disrupt our negativity. Our thoughts have enormous power over our wellbeing, but the last thing you want to tell someone suffering from anxiety or depression is “just think happy thoughts.” “All of your thoughts are real, all of them are valid,” Lisa says, “but not all of your thoughts are true.” When we find ourselves stuck in negative thought patterns, she says we can interrupt the cycle by “observing, listening, and bringing curiosity” to our negative thoughts, instead of just trying to brush them away. It’s important to remember that negative thoughts are evolutionary in nature; when something traumatic occurs, whether it’s a big trauma or a little one, our negative thoughts are meant to protect us. So “having a little compassion for yourself,” instead of shaming yourself for constant negativity, is helpful too.
There are lots of ways we can help ourselves and others get through these hard times; listen to the episode for some that could be useful to you and your loved ones on 4 Things With Amy Brown.
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